Lately/this summer/for the first time, I’ve just been saying FUCK IT and wearing shorter skirts and short sleeves and tank tops out in public.
And it’s been awesome!!
Not that there aren’t days when I have bouts of feeling shitty about myself and about my skin and need to cover up. Just that it’s worth it when I push myself outside of that comfort zone. It is so easy to just crack and wear jeans and longer sleeves and pretend you’re not DYING under there, but is it really worth it? Is it really fair to yourself?? Or are you just trying to make other people feeling more comfortable around you because some part of yourself is disgusted by your own body and feels ugly and less-than and doesn’t want anyone else to have to experience it either?
Today I was feeling bad about myself and my skin (so easy to do!) but I still put on a skirt and pumped myself up a little bit and mostly just forgot about it and stopped caring and it felt GREAT — the sun on my skin, the grass on my skin, the wind on my skin. Lately I’ve been having moments of realizing that it just doesn’t matter, my body is mine and my own and really all I have, it is the only vessel I will ever possess, and it is just as worthy of respect and comfort, just as deserving to wear shorts as anyone else’s body.
Sometimes it’s easier to be uncovered around strangers as opposed to people you know/coworkers/acquaintances. Weird how that goes! Maybe because I care less about the opinions of strangers than the opinions of people whose respect I feel I need to earn.
I’ve seen a couple strangers with psoriasis out in public lately and that makes me so happy! I always have the urge to strike up a conversation, but I never do. Enough for me to see them and know that both of us are temporarily existing in the same place doing our respective things.
Thoughts about psoriasis!